


Airlines

by jamesgatz1925



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Humor, M/M, i literally don’t know what else to tag this other than humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-02
Updated: 2018-04-02
Packaged: 2019-04-17 08:31:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14184984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jamesgatz1925/pseuds/jamesgatz1925
Summary: Sometimes Sonny is more useful than he appears.





	Airlines

**Author's Note:**

> You know John Mulaney’s Delta Airlines bit? Well, if you don’t, you should. 
> 
> This is kind of that.

Rafael hated airports, airplanes, and Sonny Carisi, in that order. Airports were stuffy, airplanes were late, and Sonny was fine with both of those facts. As someone bumped into him, Sonny apologized. As the announcement was made that their flight out of Chicago was delayed an unknown amount of hours, Sonny shrugged and pulled out a book he’d packed in his carry-on. As Sonny did these things, Rafael fumed.

Rafael fumed because Sonny had a poor habit of treating every situation like it was a walk in the park. Which was ridiculous, because Rafael had, in the past, witnessed firsthand Sonny’s ability to fight confessions out of perps and statements out of witnesses. But it seemed the tall Raggedy Andy doll had the demeanor to be too polite to demand he be treated with better decency.

Rafael, however, did not have that. So, an hour into waiting for their plane, Rafael huffed and stood abruptly.

Sonny looked up at him. “Barba, wait—“

“I’ve been waiting long enough, Carisi. I’ll be right back.”

Rafael marched up to the desk with the feeling of Sonny’s eyes on his back, surely in pure disbelief that Rafael was going to go demand action to be taken. Poor Sonny. Walking around his entire life and just accepting things.

Rafael got to the desk and the girl behind it smiled.

“How can I help you?” she asked politely.

“How much longer will I be waiting?” Rafael asked back, no politeness in his tone whatsoever.

The girl checked the monitor of the screen in front of her. “I’m sorry, sir, I’m afraid I can’t answer that quite yet.”

“What? What does that even mean? What do you mean you can’t answer that yet?”

The girl looked nervous, as if this was her first time dealing with this problem in this situation. “I just...don’t quite have an answer yet.”

Rafael took pity on the poor girl. “Fine. When will there be an answer?”

“In the next twenty minutes.”

“Fine,” Rafael repeated, then left the counter to return to Sonny.

“You know,” Sonny said as Rafael approached. “We could always—“

“Carisi, please don’t try to offer any advice. I’m going to the bathroom. Make sure the plane doesn’t take off while I’m in there.”

“Fine,” was all Sonny said, clearly not really paying attention to Rafael.

Rafael wandered over to the bathroom they passed on their way to the gate. It was hours ago that they first passed it, and now Rafael was just annoyed at it. Annoyed at the entire airport, annoyed at the airline, and annoyed at Sonny.

When he returned, even more annoyed after being stuck in that line for roughly ten minutes, he sat with Sonny.

“Did the plane take off?” he asked, half joking.

“Yeah,” Sonny said, not looking up from his book. “I’m on my way back to New York right now.”

Rafael glared at him. Sonny still didn’t look up, but cracked a tiny smile across his lips. Rafael wanted to smack him.

He refrained and instead opted to find out if there was any news.

“There won’t be anything,” Sonny called after him, but Rafael ignored him. “Why don’t we just—“

Rafael still ignored him.

The poor girl behind the desk looked visibly spooked when Rafael walked up again.

“Anything?” Rafael asked.

“Uh, uh...nothing yet, sir. Can I offer you a meal voucher for any of the restaurants in this terminal?”

“Are you serious?” Rafael asked noncommittally. Of course she was serious.

“I apologize, sir—“

Rafael sighed. “It’s fine. I’ll take the meal voucher.”

After Rafael got his meal voucher, he went back to Sonny to show off his prize. “Free meal,” he teased.

“You’re still stuck in an airport.”

Rafael huffed. “Allow me a small victory, please.”

“By all means.”

Rafael stood to retrieve his free meal. Sonny watched him over the top of his book.

“Would you like to come with me?” Rafael asked, even though he wouldn’t have otherwise.

Sonny shut his book. “Well, I wouldn’t want you to get lost...”

They gathered their belongings and wheeled their suitcases out of the crowded gate, then walked through the terminal until they came upon a fine looking restaurant. Rafael got to the counter and ordered, then handed over his meal ticket.

The man behind the counter punched in the voucher number.

“Uh...” he mumbled, “This isn’t quite working.”

“It isn’t quite working or it isn’t working?”

“Let me try it again.” The man typed in the number, then handed it back to Rafael. “I’m sorry, sir. Where did you get this?”

“At my gate!”

“When?”

“Not five minutes ago.”

“Uh, well...”

“You’ve got to be—“

Sonny, bless him or curse him, cut in before Rafael could curse at the young man.

“Hey, Barba, why don’t we—“

“Carisi, don’t try. I’m done. Let’s go to the airline’s help desk, although I’m sure that’s an oxymoron.”

Sonny wisely said nothing as he followed close behind Rafael. Rafael needed to think about what he was going to demand of the airline, and Sonny was being useless and in the way.

When he got to the help desk, the woman behind the desk was smiling. Rafael knew she wouldn’t be in about a minute.

“Hello, sir, how may I help you?”

“I’ve been stuck in this godforsaken airport for hours and I would just like to go home on an airplane, please.”

Sonny chuckled behind him. Rafael fought back the urge to glare at him.

“Boarding pass, please?”

Rafael handed it over and the woman typed in his flight information to a computer.

“Oooh,” she sighed. “I’m sorry, sir. This flight is delayed for another five hours.”

“Dios mio,” Rafael mumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Are there any flights to any other New York airports? Any—“

Sonny patted his shoulder. “Barba, let’s—“

“Carisi, shush, I’m trying to think. How about a flight somewhere near New York and we can get another connecting flight?”

“I’m afraid not,” the woman said. “I can offer you a—“

“I do not want another meal voucher that doesn’t even work. I would like to no longer be stuck in this fu—“

“Rafael—“ Sonny warned.

Rafael continued. “Carisi, please—“

“Rafael!” Sonny snapped.

Rafael looked at him, surprised. Sonny was rarely that vocal toward him, especially without the presence of a high-stress case, or when Rafael was really fed up with him and snapped at him first.

“What?” Rafael questioned.

“Why don’t we go see what another airline has?”

Rafael stared at him. He blinked twice.

“How long have you been sitting on that idea?”

“You ignored it quite a few times.”

Rafael grabbed his boarding pass from the desk and walked away. “I’m leaving you in Chicago,” he muttered.

But Sonny was right behind him. “Why haven’t you learned to listen to me more often?”

“Shut up, Carisi.”

Sonny just grinned.

Rafael glanced over at him. Maybe Sonny was slightly more useful to have around after all.


End file.
